Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
