apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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