The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
