Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
