Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
