apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
