I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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