Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
