I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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