I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
