i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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