Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
