I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
