O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
