ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
