I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
