He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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