hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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