Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm just crazy horny about you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
