Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
