I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
