Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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