you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Randomize
