Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
