'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
