ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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