During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's like God shit irony all over that family
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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