if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
