Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
