We got so high we made milksteak
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i believe in u and ur pee
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
