whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
