I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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