Your mouth is God's brothel.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
