you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
