i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
