They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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