Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
