i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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