get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
