You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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