On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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