And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
