so that wasnt chicken after all
Define "chronic" masturbator.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
