Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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