is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
