their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
