it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
