We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
