Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
