My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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